This 3-step editing trick elevates any sentence

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Disaster #1:

"Perhaps, alongside the socially universal search for fulfilment through the purchase of consumer goods, young African-American b-boys and b-girls invested so much of their identity in their material possessions due to, as Lury notes, the black community's desire to project their identity into the "public sphere" through participation in consumer culture."

Meaningful words in bold:

Perhaps, alongside the socially universal search for fulfilment through the purchase of consumer goods, young African-American b-boys and b-girls invested so much of their identity in their material possessions due to, as Lury notes, the black community's desire to project their identity into the "public sphere" through participation in consumer culture.

Clear and concise version:

Young b-boys and b-girls invested their identity in material possessions because, as Lury notes, the Black community used consumer culture to project their identity into the public sphere.

[51 words → 28 words]

More human:

B-boys and b-girls used designer clothes to make themselves visible in a culture that ignored them.

Disaster #2:

"Exceptionally large 'chunk' gold and diamond jewellery (usually fake) mocks, yet affirms, the gold fetish in Western trade; fake Gucci and other designer emblems cut up and patch-stitched to jackets, pants, hats, wallets, and sneakers in custom shops, work as a form of satirical warfare."

Meaningful words in bold:

Exceptionally large 'chunk' gold and diamond jewellery (usually fake) mocks, yet affirms, the gold fetish in Western trade; fake Gucci and other designer emblems cut up and patch-stitched to jackets, pants, hats, wallets, and sneakers in custom shops, work as a form of satirical warfare.

Clear and concise version:

Fake gold jewellery mocked yet affirmed Western materialism. Bootleg designer logos patched onto clothes worked as satirical warfare.

[45 words → 19 words]

More human:

Fake gold jewellery and bootleg clothing mocked designer culture while participating in it – a form of satirical warfare through fashion.

Disaster #3:

"The line between irony and sincerity was much more clear-cut in the early days of hip hop, as none of the participants had the economic capacity to afford to wear the re-appropriated items with earnestness - fake designer brands and counterfeit jewellery would be worn merely as a form of aspiration, if not irony."

Meaningful words in bold:

The line between irony and sincerity was much more clear-cut in the early days of hip hop, as none of the participants had the economic capacity to afford to wear the re-appropriated items with earnestness - fake designer brands and counterfeit jewellery would be worn merely as a form of aspiration, if not irony.

Clear and concise version:

The line between irony and sincerity was clearer in early hip hop. Participants couldn't afford real designer brands, so wearing fakes was aspirational and ironic at once.

[53 words → 27 words]

More human:

In early hip hop, fake designer gear was both tribute and middle finger to brands they couldn't afford.